Book Review: Rockabye

Last year when I stumbled upon Rebecca Woolf's Girls Gone Child blog, I was instantly captured by her wit and honesty and beauty.

I am not one to be smitten with the Famous (well, there's a few people I've idolized) but Woolf's writing style had me at first click. She's been on my blog roll since I've had one and it's only been in the last week that she's even known that I existed.

I'm a lucky woman these days being offered to review products in exchange for a freebie. For a one-income family and a starving artist writer mommy, this has truly been a blessing for me.

There are some books I have, especially right now, I put off reading once they arrive in the mail.

Woolf's memoir, "Rockabye," is not one of them. From the gorgeous cover to the witty synopsis on the back, I was ready to roll up my sleeves and get reading.

I read books on Mama Time now so it took me two weeks to read it, but that's not because I didn't want to sit down and devour it. It is, in fact, a fabulous read that, more importantly, gets a Mama thinking.

If you know a woman who is pregnant for the first time, pregnant unexpectantly or just a little shell-shocked by the fact that a human being is growing inside her body, this book will make a great addition to that baby shower gift. If you have ever struggled with fitting in as a mother, following the rules or breaking them as a mother or wanting more than just caring for your kids then this book is for you.

Just like her blog -- with many of the same themes -- "Rockabye" leads you on a long walk in Hollywood, where you learn quickly that Woolf is truly a gem of a mom in a city that could easily swallow up a new mom in a single vegan bite.

This book made me laugh out loud and I was sharing bits with my husband -- especially about her arguments with her husband, Hal.

I think about Woolf's story often since finishing - especially yesterday when I had two toddlers hugging my legs to the point I could not move. Their strength is amazing to me. Woolf described a time when her son Archer was physically assaulting her and she seriously felt like he was going to kill her. I laughed so hard at that, knowing how that feels, like you might not escape this one (at least not without hurting the child).

What says with me most, though, is her confidence as a mother to let her children be children and to not worry about what others are doing and thinking. She demonstrates how she insists that Archer isn't put in a box and raised to be like every other child because he is not like every other child. He is Archer.

There's some lessons to be learned in that.

Seriously. Check out her book if you have an extra $10 around somewhere. It truly is worth reading.

Be sure to read my interview with Woolf. And, check out the other reviews of "Rockabye" as well at The Parent Bloggers Network blog.

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WWYD? URGENT

What if after more than a year of being at home, being just a little more than just a mom and someone – no, not just someone – a very important someone called upon you for a very big job?

What if the mere thought of leaving your daughters made you sick to your stomach, and yet the job is enticing and interesting and perfect enough to get your mind racing about it?

Could you imagine dropping your daughters off at day care, wondering about their day and picking them back up only to have a couple hours before bed to spend time with them?

Would evenings and weekends – and some holidays – be enough?

Does the sound of your own high heels clicking on the tile floors excite you or make you cringe?

And skirts? You hate skirts, right? Especially after day after day in sweatpants and T-shirts, right?

Why on earth do you need the money anyway? You’re fine living just above the line on one-income.

It’s just money, right? And most of that would go to day care, yes?

What would your daughters want from you? What is best for them? To be stuck at home some days of the week with their crazy mommy asking them to do crazy art projects yet again? Or, playing and learning to socialize and get along with other kids every day of the week?

What would they want? What do they need right now -- to play and learn, right. Wouldn't they like to do that with friends?

Do you think they can learn as well from someone else?

Would they understand why you are suddenly leaving them every day?

Can you imagine leaving the one that cries for you when you only leave the room let alone for an entire day, for an entire week for weeks on end? Would she eventually stop crying for me?

What if it's for a job that could change lives? What if it's for a job that puts nothing above serving and caring for fellow human beings?

Dear Counsel of the Internets: WWYD?

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Interview: Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child

There's little secrets left to tell about Rebecca Woolf, well-known mom blogger of Girls Gone Child fame and mother to sweet little Archer. On her blog, and in her recently published memoir, Rockabye, Woolf is a tell-all kind of writer and woman. I admire that immensely. Though we lead extremely different lives, an interview with her makes me realize how alike we actually are -- and maybe that is why I've always been a big fan of her blog and writing. I'll be reviewing Woolf's book tomorrow for The Parent Bloggers Network. In the meantime, check out her blog and this interview with this rocking Mama. Believe me, you'll want to stick around to see this one end. Here goes ...

Shawn @ Between the Lines: Thank you so much for taking the time to answer questions. I’m sure you are extremely busy now that your book tour for your memoir, “Rockabye” has kicked off. I’m also sure it’s a thrilling kind of busy. Many of my readers and I are aspiring writers through either non-fiction or fiction so reading and reviewing your book was a real treat for me. You were one of the first Bloggers I read on a regular basis and I have always admired your honesty and great love for your son.

First, please tell me how Girls Gone Child came to be. It’s a great name and seems very well thought out. Did you do much research before starting? Did your blogging style and voice evolve over time? And, how did you build your readership?

WOOLF: I started blogging in 2002. I had a personal blog called Pointy Toe Shoe Factory (pointytoeshoefactory.com is now defunct), a blog I started as a travel (and life) log when I was 21. My slogan was: “prove your pointy” and I used shoes as my ongoing metaphor for life… the journey… a young single-girl and her experiences. When Archer was born, PTSF didn’t really fit my lifestyle anymore. I was introduced to a few mom-blogs, Bite My Cookie (http://bite-my-cookie.blogspot.com) was really what inspired me. And it’s author, Dana has since become one of my best friends. My blog was originally named Childbearing Hipster but then I found that there was another Childbearing Hipster so I changed the name to Girl’s Gone Child after a brainstorm sesh. My slogan: “Welcome to the new titty-flashing all nighter” because, well, when you become a mother, your tits pretty much become breasts and all-nighters become very different all-nighters then the ones we remember from our single-years. I mean… right?

SHAWN: I must say that there are many lines and sections of your book that I had thought to myself and even though I’m considered to be a pretty truthful blogger, your book comes and out says things that only I’ve ever thought to myself. How did you discover your writer voice and has that voice always been candid and transparent? If not, when and how did it evolve over the years?

WOOLF: I have no shame. I was never to cross my legs under my chair and sit quietly at the table and that’s gotten me into loads of trouble but it has also allowed me to open up and be honest with myself and my peers. I’ve always been very comfortable talking about the burps and farts of life, the fears and failures. I think it makes me a more interesting writer and person to show flaws. I don’t close my doors, because there is nothing I have going on behind them that is exceptionally unique. We’re all having different versions of the same experience. I want to relate to people and in turn, hope they can relate to me.

I think honesty is one of the greatest gifts we can give to one another, especially as women. One can have grace and class and still talk about her post-partum vagina. And I think we owe it to one another to be candid and open and real, especially when it comes to the things that isolate us most (marriage, motherhood…) For instance I was appalled that no one told me about the physical aftereffects of childbirth. The pain and the bleeding and the fear that sex will never be what it was before childbirth. I was deathly afraid of sexual surrender, mainly because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it at the time. It makes me feel less alone to open up to people, just as I hope it makes people feel less alone to be opened up to.

SHAWN: I was overly excited to see your book placement on the shelves – smack dab between Mary Wolstencraft and Virginia Woolf. It seems more than fitting considering for you and your memoir. Then, I saw that you quote Virginia Woolf in the beginning of your book. Virginia Woolf is one of my favorite writers. How has Woolf been an inspiration to you as a woman, as a mother and as a writer? What other writers, historic or present day, have you considered your muse, of sorts?

WOOLF: Virgina Woolf was always fascinating to me (as a child) mainly because we shared a last name. When I was old enough to appreciate Woolf I read a great many of her works. A Room of One’s Own is by far my favorite work of Woolf’s, one I would highly recommend to any woman and writer. The quote I chose for the book was one I found to be so inspiring, so totally the way I’d define my parenting philosophy and I suppose, general life philosophy (Thinking against the current… puncturing gas bags and discovering the seeds of truth). I didn’t intend to choose a Woolf quote to open the book, I just kind of fell in love with the strength and independence in those words.

Anais Nin is a goddess to me. I worship her writing, her thoughts. And of course, Henry Miller who I equally adore for different reasons but as a woman I most identify with Nin. She was a brilliant philosopher, on top of being an incredible writer. I have a tattoo around my waist adapted from her book, House Of Incest “… only the truth dressed up as a fairytale…” it says. She’s my ultimate hero. I also adore Jeanette Winterson’s work (specifically Written on the Body and Art and Lies.) If I could write like anyone I would write like Winterson, but if I could spend time with any writer dead or alive, it would be Anais Nin. Other writers that have been of inspiration to me are Colette, Marguerite Duras, Lawrence Durrell and Sylvia Plath.

SHAWN: Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are due Oct. 12 with your second child and have been busy preparing (including the ever-so-important name decisions). Your book gives great details about how hard those first two years as a mother were for you. And yet, you have a very clear, undying love for your son. What will you do differently, if anything, this time around both during your birth and delivery and in that first year or two of mothering a young child?

WOOLF: As far as my birth is concerned I had a really terrible experience with my OBGYN last go around so this time, I’ve found a fantastic doctor that has already made this experience so much more delightful than the last. So there’s that. In terms for what I would do differently with my next child, it’s too soon to know. I know how to be a good parent to Archer and will have to get to know this next child in order to be a good parent to him/her. It will be interesting to see if I apply the same parenting philosophies to both children. I definitely believe that each child is unique and should be treated and nurtured as such.

Oh! And this time around I solemnly swear to get my kid a birth certificate. Archer’s almost three and I still haven’t made the trek downtown to the notary to get him one. I know… it’s horrible.

SHAWN: The way you describe today’s modern parents – full of dreams and goals and distractions – was so right on I was practically cheering you on while reading late one night. It really is a fine line to be a mother and to be a dreamer, too, because so much of our life isn’t our own anymore. It’s like walking on a tight rope every day of what we want to do and what has to get done. What advice do you have to offer other dreamers like myself to write that book or pursue any other dreams women might have while caring for young children?

WOOLF: Women are nurturers sometimes to a fault and become a parent exacpterates our desire to nurture. Unfortunately more than not, we forget the importance of nurturing ourselves, so concentrated are we on our families and children. I’ll use the ol’ sex analogy. It’s easiest to lay there, wait for the man to get off and be done with it, but what’s the point, then? What’s the point of sex if there’s no happy ending? What’s in it for anybody? No man wants an unfulfiilled woman. And how many of us are really enjoying ourselves just laying there?

With some work and perhaps some self-stimulation, it is possible to “have it all”… To provide and still be provided for. I guess my advice would be to masturbate your creativity. Ha! Set a time every day for you and the things that make you feel whole. Whether that’s working on career aspirations, creative impulses, etc. There is always time for the things we truly love and we owe it to ourselves and our families to feel good about ourselves and what we are doing to better and nurture our own identities.

SHAWN: How does blogging inspire/motivate/move you as a writer? As a mother? Do you ever think you’ll quit blogging?

Blogging has been very beneficial to me. I love doing it and it’s absolutely made me a better writer, and parent but most of all it’s given me a community of like-minded amazing parents and people and that has been the most inspiring thing of all.

I don’t know if I’ll quit blogging. I will stop blogging about Archer at some point (my cut-off is Kindergarten.). I think at a certain age, our children should make the call as to whether or not they want to be written about. I don’t want to tell Archer’s story for him…It’s his story to tell, after all and I believe it should be up to him whether or not he wants to tell it himself.

SHAWN: Finally, what’s next for you? Will you delve back into that original dream of yours – to write a novel?

WOOLF:Yes! I actually just finished a short script that I’ll be co-producing this summer, in a feature presentation (with four other film-makers.) It’s a very exciting project and I’m the token female on board so I feel kind of scared and special all at once. It’s also my first stab at screenwriting. It’s super low-budget, indie-rock situation but I’m proud of my little script and also am working on a pilot based on Rockabye with my husband, Hal, who’s a producer.

Re: my novel. I’m picking up where I left off last January when I sold Rockabye and had to drop my current novel renovations. I have a lot of work to do yet. The story takes place in San Francisco during WWII so I’ve had to do a lot of research and the book’s format is insanity so it’s going to take some time to write it the way I’d like it to read. This is actually my third novel. I finished two but neither were good enough I don’t think. I have high hopes for this new one, though. I think I’m ready to be a novelist. I feel ready. I hope.

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BLOGGY GIVEAWAY WINNER!

Many thanks for a deliciously green conversation about being more eco-friendly. Lots of great ideas so be sure to read through them all and make a list of what you haven't done yet to reduce your carbon footprint.

I've talked before about how we have been a one-car family for a year and a half and we try to avoid driving that car -- an SUV -- too much. Dan commutes to work. I walk for groceries when possible.

We buy local fruits and vegetables and some meats except in winter when it's just too cold to deal with the walk.

We have all CFL bulbs -- which reduced our electric bill GREATLY -- and we are doing our best to recycle everything possible, even coffee grounds at times, which we scattered around rose bushes.

Like most people, we have a long way to go, yet, and so I'll be using a lot of those comments everyone left last week.

The random winner of the giveaway -- Healthy Child, Healthy World -- is Frugallm at Frugal 20. Congrats!


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Wait ... before I go!!!

CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED; NO MORE COMMENTS ACCEPTED. THANKS FOR A GREAT GIVEAWAY POST! FANTASTIC RESPONSES ALL AROUND.


I feel like celebrating. How about a giveaway in honor of Hillary Clinton winning big in Pennsylvania???

Yup, just leave a comment below telling me what your family has done -- or wants to do -- to help reduce your family's eco-footprint this year.

One random winner who has left an appropriate comment below will win a copy of the following book: Healthy Child, Healthy World, which I reviewed here. Please, please, please leave an email so I do not have to go hunting you down.

(Oh, and this is a Democratic blogger here talking so no need to try and sway me toward Obama; if he wins, he'll be supported like crazy.) (Anti-Hillary comments will automatically be deleted.) (Comments praising Hillary as president will count twice!! LOL just kidding ... but leave 'em anyway)

Good luck. The winner will be announced on this blog next Tuesday.

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Hal-low, Writer Mama!

The question I get asked second most besides, "Twins?" is actually about how I manage to have a freelance writing career along with caring full-time for my girls.

Sometimes I don't know the answer myself. Other times, it's easy for me to understand -- it's because I rarely take on too much than what I know I can handle.

That would NOT be the case right now.

So, I'm going to skip off into the sunset with sticky little girl fingers and a pile of writing assignments tucked neatly below my eyelids.

Not only have we listed our house back on the market (um, not one call, yet), but I'm juggling three other deadlines, taking a freelance pitch e-course and then, of all times, a good-paying assignment (= lots of work) landed in my inbox yesterday and I'm going to need to focus on harder for a week. (You know, and not worry about comments, not worry about responding to comments, not worry about not reading all of your blogs, and not worry about not having any comments, etc. It's true that this portion of blogging takes up more time than the actual writing the blog itself.) So, all work, including the fun, but not growing, Fun for Moms meme will be suspended on this blog for 7 days.

When $$$ calls I must answer and say Hal-low, which is how Jadyn and Liana say it even if IT is a pebble or a banana or a small block.

Hal-low, Money. Hal-low, Work.

I'll return next week with a must-read interview with one of the coolest bloggers in all of the blogoland: Rebecca Woolf from Girls Gone Child. If you're not a fan yet, you will be. I'll share my interview with her next week along with my review of her book, Rockabye. Stay tuned and have a wonderful week.


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Let's celebrate now, while we can!

We're celebrating many, many things today at my other blog. Come on over and check it out.

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