Dear J & L:
Today is Father’s Day, my second with the two of you. I’ve been thinking about what the day means to me, trying to put into words what it means to be your father. There’s no simple way to describe it.
It means riding a little rollercoaster of ups and downs every day: the anticipation of seeing you in the morning; the sadness of saying goodbye as I leave for work (especially if one of you is crying); the burst of happiness with a call from Mama about something you did, or reading one of her blog posts or seeing some new pictures; the absolute delight at coming home to you at the end of the day, in time to give you a bath and get you into bed.
It means my stomach tightens with fear when I get a call from Mama like I did this week when you, L, fell and hit your head on some concrete steps next to the house. You were OK, but for 10 minutes, my mind raced at the possibilities of what might have happened.
But those are the day-to-day things. The best part of fatherhood has to do with knowing that day by day, week by week, month by month, your Mama and I are guiding you on the first steps in your journey through life. I watch in awe as I see you developing into little people – able to use a fork and a spoon, or take your dirty clothes and put them into the hamper, or play games with each other. I marvel at the glimmers of personalities that appeared within six months become clearer all the time. It’s a gift you’ve given us: to watch and understand your behavior gives us insight into our own. I hope making note of this now will help you know yourselves better when you get older.
Mama likes to say being a stay-at-home mom is the toughest thing she’s ever had to do, and it’s also the best thing. I would say that being your Da! is far and away the best thing that will ever happen to me in my life (along with marrying Mama) and that knowledge gives me a mix of peace and exhilaration that I don’t think I could find anyplace else.
Love,
Da!
This is the photograph that the girls look at every day when they miss their daddy.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Guest Post by The Da!
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