The question that keeps baffling my my mind these days is who have I become? I'm different in so many senses of the word now that I'm a mom. I have clarity. I see things in order -- in black and white. I'm less worried about the middle, the gray. I know exactly what I need on my shelves and what I do not.
Like an x-ray, I can see exactly what's inside me -- the good, and the bad. In one fell swoop I can honestly say my patience is good, and yet my temper is bad.
Yet, the me I've become is so much more than all of that. I'm evolving. I'm a woman on a mission every single day. Don't get in my way. If you don't smile at me when I'm walking, pffft. I no longer care.
I don't live and breathe for what others think anymore. I'm offended by people who work too much, and spend little time with their children.
I can see now that I've made mistakes, that I've pushed for things that were bad decisions, and that now it's time to right the wrongs.
I used to think it was funny that people walked past my house and used profanity every other word. Now, I want to hurt them for taking away my right to teach my daughters bad words.
I used to think that our neighborhood was perfect because of its crazy social dimensions, and now it's those same dimensions that I detest.
I used to care more about the news, the media, quality journalism than anything on the planet. I worked 10-hour days just like The Da! Now, I can't keep up with the headlines, and think it's a sign of our times that journalists sit around creating stories designed to make us less afraid of things we shouldn't even be afraid of in the first place -- like bed bugs. I mean us -- moms like me, and you.
The core of me is still the same. I'm still a liberal everything, a bleeding heart. But, I'm conservative now, too. By that, I mean, I'm strict with my time -- what I read, who I converse with, where I spend my money and how I spend my evenings and weekends.
I'm different.
I'm a mom now.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Who have I become?
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6 comments:
Well said!
Becoming a mom doesn't change much...just everything. :-)
Hello!
My name is HyeJi Kim and I am currently a student at the George Washington University. As part of a university writing class that I am enrolled in, we are to choose one blog to track and follow up on during the semester. My writing class is regarding women's autobiography and because blogs are a form of autobiographies, we have an assignment to track and reflect upon a blog that we choose. As I was searching for blogs written by women, I came across yours and thought that it would be very interesting to track throughout the semester. So I was wondering if I could have your permission to keep up on your blog and discuss your blogs within my class. Thank yoU!
Bossy wants to be you when she grows up.
Becoming a mom changed everything for me as well. I too am more conscious about who I let around my kids and what we do as a family.
By the way the writing challenge was a great idea. It's been fun reading what others "someday" are.
I really don't think I was ME until I became a mom. All the things you have written are things that I have felt in the past two years. It's like I am finally awake and more aware of things than ever before, and at the same time completely clueless to the world around me, wrapped in a cocoon of me and my girls.
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