Wake me up when it's over

I had every intention of getting up today and writing a stellar post of how thankful I am that my girls sleep all night and have just about every night since they turned a year old.

As it would happen, last night was not a great night of sleep.

They woke for the first time, collectively, in quite a while. And those kind, the ones when Da! and I have to both be in coaxing and coddling for nearly two hours, are never good nights.

But, I can't blame them. It wasn't their fault.

We woke them up.

The scurrying from window to window, the yelling, the upstairs and down.

A terrible thing happened outside our bedroom window that involved calling police and yelling at the Dispatcher to hurry and send an ambulance. Her mediocre questions unraveled me.

Honestly, I thought I had just witnessed a murder, or at least an attempted one. I know crime well enough to be smart, and made sure to get a good glimpse of the suspects.

The victim -- probably not much of a victim at all -- was just laying there, in our driveway, dead for all I could tell.

His attackers rolled away quickly, but smoothly, like they have done this time and time again.

Police never did make it in time because Mr. Dead woke up from his beating and slowly. staggered. away.

It's no wonder that one of our girls woke up crying. It's no wonder they couldn't go back to sleep for a while.

I couldn't either.

So, today. Today. I am thankful for yoga class that just might release some of the fear -- fear that is slowly turning into anger -- that is still rising up within me.

I'm also thankful that the house is already for sale. That even though it's slow going, that decision has been made.

Because, and I DO NOT SAY this often. I made a mistake moving here. It was my bright idea.

We never should have.

I'm sorry, Dan.

Yes, yes, I do want to leave ALL of this.



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