Soul letters -- letters to my daughters

A long time ago, I had this little idea to preserve my thoughts now for my daughters later. You know, that was a damn good idea.

Dear girls --

A man should want to listen to you and hold your hand without any other intentions. He should be smart and sexy but not too much of either because it can go to their heads in one way or another and that leaves you feeling bad about yourself. You should be able to be yourself – boldly, daringly. You should be able to wear what you want, go where you want and believe what you want. If you can’t, than the relationship is not right for you. Granted, none are perfect, but these are good starters. If they have this, you can live with a little Sports Network now and then – and tell him so, too. Appreciate the men you find who are like this. Above all, though, nurture yourself and the woman you want to be.

Love,

Mom

Anyone else care to chime in here??




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How Daring Can you be?

My last post was a true confession about how hard it is for me to let go of the girls and start letting them learn for themselves the consequences of life's challenges.

I am committed to doing that.

But, I'm equally attracted to offering them as many educational and cultural experiences as possible. Just yesterday I was telling them hello in six different languages and playing Spanish music. I want, for them, many of the things I didn't have as a kid.

I was recently honored to be asked to participate in a blog book shower for the next awesome book by Andrea L. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz. Last year, I wrote a review of their first "Daring Book for Girls," which I have proudly displayed on a shelf.

Now, I'm even happier to display next to it the next volume: "The Double-Daring Book for Girls."

For this shower, we were supposed to actually DO one of the activities. Well, I didn't want to just do it myself so I had to find one that was good enough for the girls, now 3, to do as well.

I chose rock stacking. I've been wanting to do some rock activities lately because there are so many of them out there circulating the blogs. I'm sure I played with rocks a lot as a kid but I don't recall ever stacking them like blocks.

We first went out with the girls' little pink wagons and collected some rocks in the back, backyard. They enjoyed that part alone.

Then we took them to the deck and just started stacking them. They lost interested in about five minutes but I kept stacking and stacking. I thought it was a ton of fun. I didn't realize the challenge it would be to make them stack higher and higher.

I was able to stack 8 rocks at the most. Can you beat that????? I'm supposed to challenge my readers to be my performance so if you have any luck, let me know in the comments, please!

Rock stacking a great multi-step activity to do because once you gather them, you can wash them and then paint them. Once painted, you can add pictures on them to depict story characters to tell stories outside (or inside on a rainy day).

And, if you want more cool things to try that are new, that might inspire you in some new way today, pick up the Double-Daring Book for Girls today.

It does rock. You'll be smarter for it, too. Just don't let your kids knock them over too soon.






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Lilly

Dear Jadyn and Liana:

Don't ever accept less. Don't ever give up. You're worth full price. Always. Even after 180 days or a 180 years. Even if it isn't convenient for employers. Even if it will make a few overpaid thinkers whine. The world sides with you today.

Love,

Mama



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In a word(s)

Words around here right now are very important. Just today I learned that Jadyn and Liana knew how to say "Wall." As in ... Jay-Jay hit her head on the wall and got a boo-boo. (Not fun for a girl who we suspect is getting an ear infection.)

Each day more and more words come to life and I'm truly flabbergasted with the amount of knowledge Dan and I have taught these future American female leaders. Not just words, but pictures and concepts, too. I guess I hadn't realized kids were this smart at (almost) 2.

Which makes me realize that I need to be on my best behavior ... even when they both cry incessantly like they did this morning.

After gazillions of written drafts in my life, handfuls of jobs, failed relationships, and mountains of mistakes I can truly look into their eyes and see perfection. Finally, I got something right. Finally.

Is it possible to give these girls the world without spoiling them? Without ruining them? Without setting them up for failure? For disappointment?

If 2008 is the Year of the Writing then this year's word has to be even more meaningful. But, surprisingly, it's not going to be about writing at all.

Or, perhaps that isn't surprising. What might be less shocking is that I can't choose just one, but instead, have to have a theme of words.

My words for 2008 (hereby called the Three Cs):

Contentment
Compassion
Creativity



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Raising daring girls

When my Mom decided to move to Georgia after living nearly 50 years in the same county in Maryland, it was quite a shock.

Daring, risk-taking, adventurous was just something she wasn't.

While she's never held me back for trying to take risks, she was definitely not actively teaching me to seek out adventure.

If anything, she taught me to be extra cautious, extra careful --- qualities that I still hold deeply to heart, especially now as a mother.

It truly is a fine line with wanting to give your daughters the world, but protect them, too.

Right now, my daughters are fearless in the most crazy, crowded places, yet cower between my legs in small, intimate situations.

I know I will struggle with pushing them to take risk, while holding them back from trouble and pain and getting hurt.

I know I want them to make their own mistakes, and learn from them. Yet, I feel, it's my job to at least warn them of the mistakes I made and how I learned from them or maybe even changed because of them.

Yes, raising girls -- daring ones, at that -- is a scary thought.

That's why when MotherTalk offered me a chance to review the new "The Daring Book for Girls," by Andrea J. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz, I jumped at the chance. I knew enough about the boy version, "A Dangerous Book for Boys," to know that the girls version would be a great book to hold on to for Jadyn and Liana.

Inside, the pages are covered with amazing information that taught me interesting things. Some of my favorites:

1. Rules of the Game: Basketball: With a husband who is pretty into sports, and basketball in particular, I have always felt at a disadvantage for not knowing anything about the game. I love that now I'll have some insight to offer the girls when they get started in sports. Of course, their Da will teach them everything they need to know. He's already commenting on Liana's natural form and throw.

2. Building a Campfire: It's not enough to just sit back and enjoy the campfire. A girl needs to know how to build it, and sustain it. This book gives that information.

3. What is the Bill of Rights: Much more than the fact that I want to raise daring girls, I want to raise politically smart women who aren't afraid to question what is happening in their government and speak their minds about it.

4. Finance: Interest, Stocks and Bonds: This section of the book could be longer and more detailed, but what is provided is good. I believe this kind of information needs to be taught to young girls as early as possible. It's not enough to use just a savings account anymore.

By the time I finished reading this book, I felt satisfied and plan to buy a copy for my niece, who is a tween. My biggest problem with this book is not knowing what age group it is best for. An eight-year-old might have fun learning some of the more basic things in the book, while a teenager might have interest in the more advanced. And yet it would be perfectly fine for a 30-year-old or an 80-year-old woman.

I guess it's a book that a girl can grow into as she reaches each stage in life.

Regardless, "The Daring Book for Girls" should be sitting on her bedside table, and parents should be reading along, too. Especially about the Bill of Rights, part.

Stay tuned: The LTMD Group Writing Project topic will be announced today. Get your keyboards ready!

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