No Hablo Toddlerese

This post started from a comment on Karen's blog until I realized that I, perhaps, had a little more to say than just a passing comment. (Eh-hem)

A book, perhaps. Or, a series of books.

As you know, I've been studying the younger set for a little bit now and, well, I've come to realize that I'm absolutely clueless.

I just don't get it. I'm starting to think jumping off the rooftop in front of a tractor trailer would be more pleasing at times.

Like when one of my girls stuffs her mouth with all of her snack, and her sister's so that her mouth is so filled a milky slobber dribbles from her lips and onto the clean floors.

Or, when they pull out the claws over a booster seat. No, silly, not the OTHER booster seat. I'm talking about THAT one, the one that isn't the OTHER one that looks EXACTLY like it. The one that is worth SCRATCHING an eye out over because it's NOT the other one.

Or, why they will chatter all morning about going outside or going in the car, but the second we're supposed to actually GO OUTSIDE OR GO IN THE CAR, they are suddenly no where to be found or found sheepishly hiding atop the stairs, waiting. And, by the way, no amount of pleases, come heres or threats work. My butt has to go. upstairs. and. get. her. Rinse and Repeat on some mornings. Some. Very. Bad. Mornings.

And, then there's this: It's perfectly fine to get soaking wet after, oh, a half hour playing in dirty water outside, but if a single drop of water gets on her shirt sleeve while washing her hands in the sink all bets are off, and so is that shirt. Or else. There is no reasoning, either. Just. Remove. Shirt. Rinse. Repeat. Five, maybe Six. Times. A. Day.

But, toddlerese isn't the only thing I can't translate. I don't really understand husbandese either these days. You know, when he tells me that I'm worrying "too much" and I respond with your not worrying enough. But, I'm considered to be "attacking" and this is why he's harmed for life you see. (I won this one, by the way.)

No, I'm not really understanding people right now. They are all too wishy-washy for me. No one can make a decision, yet no one likes any of my decisions.

So, yeah, life is feeling a lot like being in another country, and I do not speak the native language.

Thank you for visiting today.

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