The Law According to ... Round 2

When we're young, we take risks because we do not know better. As we age, we stop taking those risks because we know better. Which is more important? To live freely, without worries or to be comfortable, but running the risk of complacency?

I am not able to take risks anymore, at least not physically. These days, a risk for me is starting a MySpace page, deciding to tear down wallpaper, or ordering a great piece of art for art's sake.

When I was young -- and Mom Mom, don't read this -- I didn't always follow the rules. I did things to my body -- both physically and emotionally -- that now, in hindsight, I realize were not particularly healthy or productive.

But, the people, those places, that lifestyle helped me become who I am now. It all led me here, to this place, this cozy, beautiful, chaotic life ...

Where I set the rules and watch them be broken a million times a day, often with a smile, usually with a smirk of hope. From me. From them.

I see it in them ... at almost 23 months, they understand the world around them. They know the rules, they like them even, but they test them. They walk right up into the rules faces and taunt them with their pumpkin preserve-covered lips and sticky hands. They pump their chests like little gorillas at the rules. They pull the rug right out from under the rules. They drag the rules all over the house.

And, 98 percent of the day, I let them.

****

The Great Writing Project -- Day Two

The newest entries for 10 Rules to Live By are listed at the top of this list. The others, below, are those I have already told you about here.

Kelli at The Zen of Motherhood has written a fantastic little list that will make you laugh and cheer. Happy Belated Birthday, Mama Zen!

Not to be confused with ...

Momma Zen's Zen in Ten, which is a powerful list, simply stated. What I love about this list, and everything Karen writes, is that it's just the obvious that somehow, some way, gets lost in our cluttered thoughts.

Sarah over at That's Life v. 2.0 finished her A to Z project, and is now tackling numbers. That's right, she's written a post on the Number 10.

New to the party, I'm proud to introduce Moanna from Desperately Seeking Serenity and her 10 Rules, which I found to be extremely humorous and right on. I, personally, love Number 2. And, she's dedicated to world peace ... how can you not visit her blog?

From Day One

Shelli of Mama of Letters

Bella

And, for Gary's list go here.

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The Law According to ... Round One

You might have noticed a new person taking my comments section to a whole new level the last couple of days. Gary is a new reader by way of Shannon's blog. Since she hasn't been posting a whole heck of a lot lately, he's pestering me. Thanks, girlfriend. And, as I've learned, he will fit right in here. We'll call him the token writer dad.

His LAWS were the first to arrive in my in-box. Down below, you can read his list, which coming from a dude, turned out to be incredibly insightful, overflowing with heart and full of wisdom. There's a little humor tossed in for comedic effect as well.

Also up on Day One is Shelli of Mama of Letters, who wrote a lovely list that includes the simple things in life like learning to love music, reading and drinking wine. OK, I used a little poetic justice there and mixed some things together because those are a few of my favorite things. Read her list of 10 Rules to live by and tomorrow will be a little brighter for you.

And, Bella ... Ah, Bella ... she has outdone herself once again. She is easily climbing the great big blogging ladder with her purity and grace in writing. Her list is soulful and poetic, but you have to read it to see just how beautiful it is. Grab a cozy chair and sit back for this one, as always. Then again, most of you have already!

Now, for Gary's list. You can learn more about Gary's private self by visiting his MySpace page, where you would need to be accepted as a friend to view his blog and writing.

The dreaded list

Ah, ‘tis the season for… the list. The dreaded list. As perhaps the only “not a mama” in the group, I would be remiss not to let you ladies in on a little secret that you may or may not already be aware of: as a general rule, men hate lists. Personally, I am not of that male persuasion, however, and I find that lists get me quite nicely where I want to go in life, whether it be a Honey-do list, a Gary-do list, or even my soon to be infamous how to become dictator of the world, starting with Fiji list. I’m most fond of that one, though it seems to be the most difficult one to check anything off of!

Oh, it’s not a matter of being forgetful, mind you, though I have unfortunately been a victim of that circumstance at various points in my life, too, but give me a list, and I’m one happy camper. There is just something about being able to draw a line through what you have accomplished in a day and experiencing the satisfaction that comes with seeing such a visible progression. Perhaps that is why I chose to become a carpenter. In fact, I’m sure that it is.

So, what are those things I would recommend as vital gear on this journey we call life? Well, since you ask, I would recommend that a person:

Believe in God. Even if you don’t know which version of his story to subscribe to, believe in God, first and above all. If you do, one day, the rest will come to you. Too, I have personally always found suspect, and never fully been able to trust the intentions of, a human being that had no greater recourse to accountability than that which lay no further than the flesh of their own skin or the cleverness of their own intellect. Unsold? Then, consider Pascal’s wager. (This one should piss a few people off, huh? Woo-hoo, look at me! I’m pissing folks off everywhere I go! I must be the president).

Be willing to break the rules. If someone asks you for a list of ten things, give them twelve, pressed down and shaken together for good measure. And, though what follows should be a matter of course, I think, I find that it rarely is: if you’re going to break the rules, you really ought to first learn what they are to begin with. So, learn the rules. This is the surest-fire way to alleviate yourself of undo criticism, and perhaps the real heart of my advice.

Subscribe to the irony of life. This is the reason God gave it to us. Realize that no matter how much your rational mind suggests a thing ought to behave this way or that, know that, often, it won’t. But, by letting yourself go to the wonderment of this anomaly, you’ll not only find life to be more entertaining, you’ll find, at the end of it, you’ve lived longer and died with less stress as a result.

Read the book. One of the most powerful marketing ploys of our day, and one to which I am too often a sucker, is an attractive cover. On some you might have a picture of nothing but a woman’s legs, on another, some beau-hunking stud-muffin baring his chest as he swoops down and rescues some maiden or another, but eventually, the cover wears off. Then, what are you left holding? So, read the book.

Never lie to your spouse. Lie to your employer, lie to your friends, lie to the world, even, but never, ever, ever, lie to your spouse. You share a bed with this person, and they can kill you in your sleep.

Love. Wholeheartedly and without reservation, love. It is the investment in life that pays the greatest dividends. So, even if you’ve fallen off this horse a thousand times—and been kicked in the head on at least half of those—pick yourself up, get on the next one that comes along, and give everything you have to the effort. You will be crushed for doing so. You will be made a fool of. You will be terribly, dismally, irrevocably, horribly scarred for life—aw, aren’t I the hopeless romantic—but do it anyway. Sometimes, the ride will be quicker than others, sometimes you’ll be at the far side of the pasture before you hit the fence, but love anyway… until it sticks, because one day, it will. It always does. So, love. But… love yourself first, because you’ll never succeed with love of another human being until you do. Love.

Draw. Write. Paint. Whittle, even. But create something, even if your masterpiece is nothing more than your own children and the next burgeoning generation of young capitalists. Create something. This is the third highest endeavor of man, and one that will seldom leave you unrewarded.

Dream BIG. When you aim the arrows of your dreams at the moon, they may not reach it, but how much farther will they have traveled than if you had chosen a more terrestrial target than she. Want to write? Then write for a Pulitzer or the New York Times bestseller list. Want to build? Then build with your eyes set on subdivisions. You may not accomplish, either, but I bet you’ll go further than had you chosen to not to.

Confront your fears. Whatever they are, own them, because if you don’t, they will own you. Confront them, repeatedly, if necessary, until they have been over-come. Fear is the leading cause of failure in the United States, today, according to the Surgeon Corporal. So, own your fears, and remember that practice, practice, practice makes perfect.

Live unrepentantly. Make your share of mistakes, but learn from them when you do. To assist you, remember that everybody else is going to, too, and yours will rarely be the most egregious of embarrassments or errors. An unembarrassed life is an unexamined life. I have only ever heard of one man that was perfect, and his was still a life of embarrassment… over us.

Laugh. More importantly, still, learn to laugh at yourself—and often—because I promise you, the world is more than ready to laugh for you, and you will diffuse the power they have over you, if you’re the first to initiate the laughter. I spent the better part of my young adult life trying to be cool, and though it looked good, perhaps, I found it a most dissatisfying fit. Rather, letting go and learning to laugh at myself proved the infinitely more comfortable wear… and I don’t believe anyone that has worn both shoes will disagree with me.

Love. What? Have I already mentioned this one? Well, it bears repeating. Love. With all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might, love. Find a girl and be willing to make a fool of yourself over her. Love. Nothing you do will ever leave you as accomplished, and nothing you can do without it will ever leave you as fulfilled. Love.

These are the things in life that I struggle with most sometimes, but that are just as reciprocally the things I find that bring me the most success to me as a human being—the things that are worth the struggle that often comes from exacting them as a personal discipline. Who knows, give them a try. Maybe you will find them to be as cantankerous and fulfilling as I have. If not, at least I can laugh at you knowing you took anything I said to heart! So, feel free to enrich the life of your fellow man, you buggers! And a Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good life.



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Twins and more twins

I had to laugh this morning watching the news, which is only a very new part of my morning routine since every other morning of the last two years has been chaos.

I sat, with my coffee cup in hand, listening to four sets of parents talk with The Today Show about the odd coincidence that four sets of twins were born in one 24-hour period. That's right, you heard me: four sets of parents with newborn twins that are only three days old were up early, dressed, and doing interviews on television with Matt Lauer. Of course, that's not the funny part, that's just the annoying part.

The funny part was as they described the miracle of it all, the amazement they had, the double blessings ... my twins were head-butting each other, pushing and fighting over breathing the same air or over the same speck of dust.

Twins certainly are miracles, aren't they? It's a wonder they live to see Age 3.

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LTMD's Group Writing Project Take 2

With time ticking on my daily break which allows me to work, it's time to unveil the Next Great Writing Project.

I want this to be fun, or serious, or a little of both. It can be insightful. It can be political. It can be related to kids -- or not. I want it to reflect who you are as a person. I want it to reflect what you believe. Your passions. Your humor. Your pet-peeves, even. The topics are endless.

This project is open to everyone, even those without blogs. Just e-mail me your entries. There is no winner with this project. You will get nothing but links. Every other day or so I will link to all of the entries up to that point. The earlier you post, the more links you will get. Get it?

The rules: Have fun with it and be sure to link to this post in your post.

So, without further ado, here's your prompt:

The Law According to You
Make a list of “10 Rules to Live By” that are based on your own experiences, not someone else’s.

Once you have your entry posted, e-mail me your entry at ubertwins at gmail dot com. Last day to post will be Saturday. A final list will be published on Sunday. Please do not post your entry here.

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Raising daring girls

When my Mom decided to move to Georgia after living nearly 50 years in the same county in Maryland, it was quite a shock.

Daring, risk-taking, adventurous was just something she wasn't.

While she's never held me back for trying to take risks, she was definitely not actively teaching me to seek out adventure.

If anything, she taught me to be extra cautious, extra careful --- qualities that I still hold deeply to heart, especially now as a mother.

It truly is a fine line with wanting to give your daughters the world, but protect them, too.

Right now, my daughters are fearless in the most crazy, crowded places, yet cower between my legs in small, intimate situations.

I know I will struggle with pushing them to take risk, while holding them back from trouble and pain and getting hurt.

I know I want them to make their own mistakes, and learn from them. Yet, I feel, it's my job to at least warn them of the mistakes I made and how I learned from them or maybe even changed because of them.

Yes, raising girls -- daring ones, at that -- is a scary thought.

That's why when MotherTalk offered me a chance to review the new "The Daring Book for Girls," by Andrea J. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz, I jumped at the chance. I knew enough about the boy version, "A Dangerous Book for Boys," to know that the girls version would be a great book to hold on to for Jadyn and Liana.

Inside, the pages are covered with amazing information that taught me interesting things. Some of my favorites:

1. Rules of the Game: Basketball: With a husband who is pretty into sports, and basketball in particular, I have always felt at a disadvantage for not knowing anything about the game. I love that now I'll have some insight to offer the girls when they get started in sports. Of course, their Da will teach them everything they need to know. He's already commenting on Liana's natural form and throw.

2. Building a Campfire: It's not enough to just sit back and enjoy the campfire. A girl needs to know how to build it, and sustain it. This book gives that information.

3. What is the Bill of Rights: Much more than the fact that I want to raise daring girls, I want to raise politically smart women who aren't afraid to question what is happening in their government and speak their minds about it.

4. Finance: Interest, Stocks and Bonds: This section of the book could be longer and more detailed, but what is provided is good. I believe this kind of information needs to be taught to young girls as early as possible. It's not enough to use just a savings account anymore.

By the time I finished reading this book, I felt satisfied and plan to buy a copy for my niece, who is a tween. My biggest problem with this book is not knowing what age group it is best for. An eight-year-old might have fun learning some of the more basic things in the book, while a teenager might have interest in the more advanced. And yet it would be perfectly fine for a 30-year-old or an 80-year-old woman.

I guess it's a book that a girl can grow into as she reaches each stage in life.

Regardless, "The Daring Book for Girls" should be sitting on her bedside table, and parents should be reading along, too. Especially about the Bill of Rights, part.

Stay tuned: The LTMD Group Writing Project topic will be announced today. Get your keyboards ready!

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Monitordropping

"Man, you guys are relentless when it comes to peeing," Da! said as I listened over the monitor. He's just given them a bath.

"If you have to go that's what the potty is for," he said. (me smirking)

"Wait, I have to clean up your puddle.

three seconds later

"Liana! I have to give you the same lecture as your sister. If you have to go to the potty ..."

Smirk.


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A birthday tribute

If you were to read my journal from fourth grade, you would see that every other entry, at least, mentions my Mom Mom.

"Spent the night at Mom Mom's house," I wrote.

"I can't wait to go to Mom Mom's house tomorrow."

The entries continue much like that through the whole year.

To explain what this woman has meant to me is very hard to put into words.

She is the sun.
She is the moon.
She is the stars.

Today, she celebrates her 75th birthday.

My grandmother -- and grandfather -- have helped make me who I am. We lived with them for a few years after my parents' divorce. Beyond that, they whisked me away every summer for several years for two weeks of road trips and camping across the east and south coasts.

Because of them I saw states like Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Texas and all of New England. I even bartered for goods in Mexico with them. They've taken me to see mountains, the coast, the South of the Border and to Lake Champlain, where I learned about Champ, the mythical aquatic monster that supposedly lives there.

But, my grandmother gave me the world at home, too. She played dress up with me. Serious dress up, too. She kindly let me put make-up on her, too. She went all out for tea parties with nasty fruit cake that no one wanted and all of my dolls and stuffed animals.

Jadyn and Liana are already starting to get her. She's easy to get. She still has the gumption to pick them up when they ask, carry them to the window to peek outside when they ask, to play games with them.

She, who lives roughly 65 miles away, sees them less than she'd like, but they know her.

I realize I am lucky, to have a grandmother in my life and for her to be so special. I am even luckier to see my daughters learn to love her as much as I do.

I am sorry that this blog post may make her cry on her birthday. It's bringing me to tears to write it. But, all of this needed to be said. In fact, I could write three days' of posts just about her.

Funny, I didn't even know how young she turns today until I asked my Mom. To me, she will always be ageless, cracking jokes and answering questions with, "I don't think that's any of your business." She will always be the Mom Mom who got up early and stood in line to buy me one of the very first Cabbage Patch dolls.

She will always be the one who never visits without something in hand to offer:


Her house will always be home:


Happy Birthday, Mom Mom!


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