You're girls now.
In just one month, you will begin your fourth year and I think that might be the year that we leave babyhood behind, even though you go at this reluctantly, urging me to still call you a baby. But, every day, just about, I see how you are seeing the larger picture of how the world works and how you fit into it. And I try to be patient, though, not patient enough, for you to learn and experiment and, yes, test the rules and boundaries around you.
The truth is that I love being your mom -- when I'm not busy intervening, putting things back together or moving things out of your reach -- because, let's face it, the child proofing wasn't necessary until now.
I love how your sense of wonder stops me in my tracks and wakes me up -- easing me right back into my childhood days, just like that. My eyes bulge and I remember.
I do wish I could help you slow down because I see your growing beyond your years already. You say things that not only amaze me, but leave me scratching my head in wonder. School has been good for you and I'm all the more impressed by your ability to communicate, to tell stories, and to speak your heart.
I don't like everything that comes out of your mouths, but I also know that there's no turning back now. I also know that the apple may not fall far from the tree and that my own character flaws are now yours. At least some of them.
I tear myself up inside not knowing if this is good or bad. You will speak your mind. I know this. I want this. But I also know the torment that can cause a young woman.
I also wonder what you will look back and think about your childhood with me. What will I be blamed for? What will I have done to cause you shame (and therapy?)?
Take care in these last four weeks of two. I know I plan to. Because finally -- just like those early days when people told me life with twins would get easier -- I now understand what the others meant when they said that you would grow up too fast.
You already have.
You're girls now.
Thank you for visiting today.
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Posted by Shawn at 5:47 PM