Look, it's a bird, a plane, a scary experience!

Girls,

Mama's got a big boo-boo on her heart after last night's bath experience.

Once, not long ago, I read this great tip that said parents of a toddler hung a poster or piece of art over their bathtub. The idea being that when it was time to rinse the babe's head of soapy shampoo, the parent could say, "Hey, look at Elmo," or whatever the picture is, baby would look up, avoiding water in the face.

I thought that was a great idea. But, that would require so many things like getting a poster, finding a ladder tall enough to reach the ceiling in our very small bathroom and, well, taking a break from my real job, which is caring for you -- the Uber Twins.

So, last night, when The Da! called saying he was running about a half hour behind, I was doomed to giving the bath on my own. No poster or anything. I've been helping gather the two of you into the bathroom, but then leaving, as you know, so that your Da! has some responsibility, I mean quality time.

When your heads of hair were so soapy that I could get them to stand up in great little Mohawks, I began worrying about the soap/water hitting your precious faces. I know you do not like that. I hate making your face wet. I know it doesn't hurt, but you both stand up, cling to me like wet noodles and try to climb out of the tub -- at once. I don't like that so much.

So, right after a few good swigs of warm bath water, but right before play time with your squirt toys, I had what might be my Worst Mother of the Year moment.

Pointing to the ceiling, I said, "There's a bird." It's not quite a poster, but I know you love to watch birds. And, truthfully, our butt-ugly wallpaper -- a legacy of our home's pear tree-loving previous owner -- does have birds on it. And it does climb up to the ceiling. But, you might not have seen those small white birds, though. I know you didn't. How could you? You were just enjoying splashing around in a bath.

Because after looking up long enough for me to dump some water over your tilted heads, searching the blank ceiling innocently for a bird, you both ended up screaming in terror at the idea of birds being in your bathroom.

I signed, "All gone." You still cried, real tears, in fear.
I said, "No bird. No bird. No bird." You still cried, and clinged, and tried to climb out. At once. All while looking around for some scary bird flying above your warm bath water.

It wasn't until you were both out of the tub, on the floor, snuggled in towels that you started to calm down. And then, it was only because I had pointed out your little scraped knees.

"Look, it's your boo-boo."

Now, I'm on the hunt for the perfect poster to hang on the ceiling. And, I think it's definitely time for the bird wallpaper to go. Clearly, it will be my Yellow Wallpaper from here on out.

I'm truly sorry, girls!

No bird.
No bird.
No bird.