So this couple walks into a bar ...

That couple would not be us.

Nor would we be walking into a restaurant, a theater or anywhere else for that matter -- unless french fries can be served and half-chewed ones can be properly thrown on the floor and there are AT LEAST two spare high chairs, people.

No. Dates are out of the question for us. We can't walk down the street with our twins without people asking, "Twins?!!"

To leave them behind, with a sitter, costs money. Money we do not have. Well, if we have it, it goes to useless things like diapers and food and gas to drive from Point A to Point B. And, my least favorite items to pay for like Saran Wrap and freezer bags.

Would we like to go on a date, just for dating's sake? Hell, yes.

Can we? Hell, no. Not unless we win ParentBlogger's latest and greatest blog blast. The site has teamed up with E-Harmony Marriage offering a $100 American Express Gift Card to spend on a dinner date with your spouse/partner and, the most exciting part, $100 to pay the babysitter.

And, guess what, you can enter, too. Go ahead. Try and make your dateless life sound more pitiful than ours. I'll just bring up that our wedding anniversary was spent wiping butts and chasing toddlers all day and night.

The contest asks us to finish this sentence: “You know you need a date with your husband/partner when ... your idea of romance is getting all wet and soapy while washing sippy cups and children's plates while trying NOT to fall asleep standing up.