Because one poop story isn't enough

I have another one.

People who don't know me, which is 99 percent of you these days, will probably start to think I'm making up poo stories just for the sake of getting more visitors to this site.

But, I'm not. I wouldn't. I mean, seriously, I don't think I told one gross joke in middle school when they're actually appropriate.

ONE of my girls, who shall remain nameless for her reputation's sake, refused to nap yesterday afternoon. For two hours, while her sister finally napped for the first time all day, I listened as she quietly -- and sometimes loudly -- played in her crib. I thought nothing of this as it has happened before.

But that was before she learned to undress herself.

And, apparently before she figured out how to take off her diaper, allowing poo to roll out. I guess. I wasn't there. Now I understand why a video monitor is necessary. It's not for those first few months, which are starting to look like a breeze. And, coming from someone who has vowed off another pregnancy because of those first several months, that should tell you something.

Luckily, those blueberries they can't get enough of are still making them produce rabbit-like pellets instead of something soft, it didn't make much of a mess. But, she couldn't stop telling me they were in her crib, rolling all over.

I swept up her naked self and put her on the floor and all the while she's pointing to the poop.

"Dah," she said, pointing, pointing, pointing.

So, I picked up more poop this week than ever in my life. Luckily, this time, I knew it was poop right away and used something other than my hand.

On the changing table, I told her:

"We don't play with our poopies. Poopies dirty."

Words I just never dreamed I'd have to utter.

Despite the temperature in their room, both girls were put to bed in their footy jammies wrapped in duct tape and their hands tied.

And, a plug up their butts.