Where's the emoticon for guilt?

My sweet girls,

Each day home alone with you for 11 hours fills me to the brim with emotion. I thought I’d share a few that I felt today. And, no, your mother is NOT moody.

Dread – Getting out of bed
Hope – That the coffee was done
Disappointment – That the coffee hadn’t even started
Eager – To clean up the disaster we call a playroom
Content – Watching you both flutter back and forth from toy to toy, destroying all sense of neatness the playroom could ever aspire to see.
Elated – Learning that there will be a Sex and the City movie after all.
Proud – That I landed an easy, and impressive interview with the Last American On Earth To Be At Work This Week.
Annoyance – That Liana clearly won’t take this morning’s nap and is now waking up her sister by crying.
Surprised – When a caller on the telephone asked for Karen, Dan’s wife. Who the hell is Karen?
Joy – At learning that my blog post about poo passing made “news.”
Relaxed – While spending time in the fresh air with my shorties.
Stressed – As Liana paced back and forth between tantrum and laughter while I tried to make lunch (could easily edit to add breakfast and dinner, too).
Anger – The result of many attempts to get you both to stop throwing apple chunks on our clean hardwood floors.
Some more anger – The result of apple chunks that were finely chewed being spit out of your mouths for no apparent reason.
Patience – As I cleaned up pureed and chunked up foods …
Compassion – yet still feeling kind enough to offer you each a bite of a brownie.
Disgust – While watching you lick your fingers and then pick up brownie crumbs off the kitchen floor and eat them.
Guilt – For letting you do it.
More guilt – For eating one brownie too many (I won’t share what that means to me.)
Even more guilt – For checking my e-mail instead of going to pee, which is what I really needed to do.
Even more, more guilt – For doing above instead of actually sitting on the floor and playing with you.
Wonder – Why Looky, Daddy e-mailed me to tell me to check my stats today.
Love – Seeing my usually combative twin girls playing nicely together.
Eager – To get the easily moved-to-tears Liana in for a nap.
Happiness – Seeing that in just two hours, my site had doubled the number of visitors it has ever had on its best day. Thanks to Daily Dose.
Obsessed – I didn’t realize that counting site visitors could be an actual obsession, until today.
Mischievous – When Jadyn wouldn’t eat her dinner, and I put her down on the floor, she started eating the food her sister threw on the floor. I threw a few extra chunks her way as well.
Hysterical – The way I spent the last five minutes of Little Miss Sunshine, as they drove off into the sunset with that VW horn still honking. (Yes, I’m way overdue in viewing movies, people.)
Thrilled – When I learned just now that more than 400 computer-users visited this blog today to read the Poop Story.
Puzzled – When I realized that only 1 out of 438 people who read my blog today felt inspired enough to leave a comment. Well, two if you count a spammer-type comment. Not even one wanted to try and win a free book! Odd, I tell you. Odd.
Thankful – As always, once you have been asleep for two hours, I feel thankful for the joy you bring to just about every other moment in the day, sweet girls.
Anticipation - For what tomorrow will bring. I just hope it's not poop-sharing, or food-spitting or head-banging fun.