Monday, December 7, 2009

A mother's brain cracked open

From the Archives of Between the Lines

Motherhood is ...

Wow, they're sleeping in today.
Oh, goodness, the whole day will be ruined because they're sleeping late.
They're crying; they're hungry.
No, they're not hungry.
Yes, they are hungry.
Must fix something healthy.
Nothing easy is healthy.
Who am I kidding? They won't eat anything healthy.
I want them to eat well.
Is it wrong to give them all sweets for breakfast?
Yes, it's wrong.
Let's eat!
Are you done?
Stop playing with your food.
Are you done?
Just take a bite.
Are you done?
I'm not making anything else for you.
Are you done?
We're done. Go play.
Just shoot me now. They never want to eat anything anymore.
Let's go in the playroom.
No, don't take out all of the DVDs.
Let's play with toys.
No, we're not going to jump on the cushions at 7:45 a.m.
What was their father thinking to start this tradition?
They're crying; they're probably hungry.
Try eating something for breakfast next time.
What's wrong?
Are you tired?
Are you hungry?
Are you thirsty?
Are you a Republican?
I'm sorry. I don't understand whining.
I have an idea! Let's go outside.
Yay! We're outside.
No, don't put flowers in your mouth.
No, don't put mulch in your hair.
No, don't throw grass at your Mama.
Hey, let's go inside and see if the mail came?
Let's watch Baby Signing Times!
Let's jump on the cushions!
Let's destroy all the DVDs so long as you aren't crying.
They're crying; are they hungry?
Should I give them a snack?
No. No snack. They must learn to eat at meals.
Aw, but they're hungry.
Aren't they?
I think so.
I don't think so.
Well, it's only 10:30, but let's try having lunch. I think you're hungry.
What? You're not hungry.
How about a nap. I think you need a nap.
Yes, let's take a nap. Shall we?

This post is in honor of Mamablogga's September writing project.

Now that you have some insight into how my brain works, and how much stress I cause myself, I hereby am taking a much-needed break away from this blog. A week of silence shall prevail here. Please leave me a comment if you participate in this writing project because I will stop by for a visit. Perhaps some solitude will come to my mind in the next several days. If not, our 4-hour drive to the beach and our first night away from home -- and cribs -- should make for some interesting posts next week.



elaine@bloginmyeye said...

This is great. I remember those days; who am I kidding? I STILL have those days. But it gets easier. Thanks for the peek into your cranium.

Jordan said...

Thank you for your honesty. How very real. I feel like this so often!

Thanks for participating again--and have a great blog break! I hope it's WONDERFULLY liberating!

Robin said...

How did you get inside my head?

Seriously, I love this post. Really love it.

summershine said...

This gave me a good chuckle. That's exactly how it goes.

Amber said...

I promise it gets easier:-) Your post reminded me of me about 18 months ago!
Amber (homeschooldiva)

Shannon said...

Ha ha! And have a great trip to the beach. Just remember to breathe!

Papaya Mom said...

great post!

I totally relate to the daddy-traditions that drive Mommys nuts!

stephanie said...

Ah, the shizophrenia of motherhood - great angle! :)

Surely Johnny Depp could pop in here somewhere (about the time you're cursing Dad for the cushion-jumping tradition maybe? Or in your beach solitude!).

lesleysmeshly said...

Have a great vacation!! The beach....pure heaven! I'm sure you're going to be saying a lot of ...don't eat the sand...don't put sand is sissies eyes..etc.

bella said...

So glad to know I'm not the only one.

Those internal dialogs can become so loud they are all I hear.

Rest and peace to you in your time away.

swirlingnotions said...

Oh my gosh, this is hysterical! I'm so glad to hear someone else's brain has these extra layers of conversation happening too. I never knew I had enough room in my brain for all the sub-topics I have running on a given thought at any given time. Enjoy your vacation!

amanda said...

cracking up and thinking of my sisters who are both preggo. i'm not a mother, and this makes me think long and hard. :-). Aye. --Amanda, Baltimore, Md.

Neena said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has these kind of days.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Have a good break. You deserve it. And good for you for taking care of you. I'll be here waiting when you get back.

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

Good for you for taking a break. TAKE ME WITH YOU!!

bella said...

Thinking of you today and hoping you are having a wonderful and restful time away.

MG said...

Ah... life with twins... it's always exciting and one day is NEVER the same as the other. I am a SAHM of 6 year old fraternal twin boys, and I can tell you that I have had days EXACTLY like the one you've posted here.

Great post... it reminded me of those toddler days (way too vividly, I might add! LOL)


Found your post off MamaBlogga's Sept. Group Writing Project. :-)

Childlife said...

Sounds like a well earned ...uh...vacation?? Not sure if such a thing even exists for the parents of twins under age two... But I do wish you luck!

Super funny post - you give me hope that at least if I do go completely nuts, I will at least have entertaining company in my padded cell : )

Ursula said...

Thanks for making me laugh...and relive many of those days that just melt into the others...!

Your girls are gorgeous!