Thursday, June 12, 2008

Swollen eyes, hurting heart

It's the kind of day that I could easily spend it in bed, under covers, crying. Ask what's wrong and I'll just nod and shew you away.

Everything. Nothing.

It's the kind of day that if I weren't a mother in charge of two human beings I would take a long drive -- to the beach, maybe -- and sulk in the wonders of nature.

All of it.

It's the kind of day I want to give up, pack up bags and go away and forget people's names and faces.

Including my own.

It's the kind of day when I feel paper-thin, fragile, so transparent that I'm invisible to the naked eye.

But no one is watching.

It's the kind of day when I feel like I could stop breathing and no one would know.

The phone never rings. The door never knocks.

It's the kind of day when everything is dark. And I'm not home. And, I'm tired.

So very tired.

I've been here before. I will bounce back. I have before.

But, a little Between the Lines hiatus is in order. Will be back next week sometime.

Thank you for visiting today.

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10 comments:

justagirl said...

Hey Shawn

I am sorry to hear you are not feeling the best at the moment. I hate times like that...

I bet you have been busy getting ready for your new job, physically and mentally.

I hope tomorrow is better for you. Sounds like you need a nice break away from everything.

I don't really know what to say, but I am thinking about you.

Katherine
x

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Hugs, Shawn. I'm thinking of you.

Threeundertwo said...

Take it easy. I look forward to seeing you blog again when you're ready.

Shannon said...

Rest without guilt
((((hugs)))))

Carey said...

Take a nice, relaxing, break and see you soon!

Hang in there.
:)

Jozet at Halushki said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you're so down!

Take a break, but I think we need a girls' night out. What does next week look like for you?

Meg Casey said...

Shawn-
I have seen your comments before at the homes of our mutual friends and community (Bella, Jena, Karen, Jen Lemen) but today followed your comment on Jen Lemen's blog about the Littlest Birds here to your blog...because YES I have had that experience too and YES I did have that experience with that song (the phrase I love you so fearlessly has come up over and over again) and then I read this post and it was as if you took the words right out of my head (or my heart). So I just wanted to raise my head to say, "yes, I know...me too...". Wishing you a peaceful rest of your week
xo
meg

RocketMom said...

Sorry I missed you last week. I haven't been getting to the computer much. Hope you're finding this week to be better - or at least, perhaps, that you find a better mindset to cope with it all.

The Myers Family said...

I read this and it hit me...i had that kind of day..TODAY! I sure hope my bad day of grumpy non stop crying doesn't roll over into tomorrow! Otherwise i'm packing my bags and headed off to Mexico, where no one knows my name! Hope this week has been better for you! Ahh..i'm so ready for the weekend!

Your blog on HDYDI was great today! I have NOT even started to think about what i'll be writing for on my post this weekend! Summer has turned me into a slacker! :)

Have a great weekend!
Brenda

workoutmommy said...

You are not alone with this feeling! If I lived near you, I would be knocking on your door because i feel the same way! (and just maybe our 2 year olds could wear each other out?)

I hope you got a break and some much needed pampering!