Sunday, December 2, 2007

A hero of her own life

I recently watched the movie, The Holiday, starring Kate Winslet and the very hunky Jude Law. I, personally, loved the movie because one of the leading characters was a dad in the trenches trying to pretend he wasn't. I also loved the movie because of the theme that women need to be the star of their own life -- that they need to have gumption.

When I think of the intersection of those two ideas -- being in the trenches, yet being a leading lady -- I wonder if it's possible.

In a recent post of hers, called Family Cancer Tree, Bella from Beyond the Map, showed me -- no, proved to me -- that she is a walking example of a mom -- a woman -- in the trenches of motherhood who is also the leading lady of her life.

Like many of her posts, this one was perfect. So perfect that I'm awarding her with a Perfect Post Award.

The Original Perfect Post Awards

In that one post -- of 30 for the month of November -- she helped me find some forgiveness in my own heart, forgiveness that is long overdue. She helped me weed out some clutter that had been sitting in front of my eyes so I could see more clearly.

She wrote, "I am not a victim and in taking responsibility for my own life, I no longer must take responsibility for that which is not mine: my parents and their choices, my husband and his own quest for freedom, my sister or my friends or the women I serve. Knowing this, living this, does not separate me or close my off behind walls of protection but allows me to be more fully present. It’s not my job or within my capacity to fix them or heal them or live for them."

"When I try to do so it is no longer about them, but about me. They get to be the hero of their own life, as I am mine, and I get to be present to them: bearing witness, hearing and listening, holding the space, honoring the birth that is their own," she continued.

Bella writes so passionately, so soulfully, so brilliantly and offers so much wisdom and inspiration. This post is just one example that makes me feel like Bella is among the last few compassionate people in America. I hope to know her the rest of my days.

You can read Bella's Perfect Post here, and other Perfect Posts here or here.

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Shannon said...

This is the thing that I love most about blogging. I think if we lived next door to Bella, she would just be another mom next door because we just don't take the time to delve into each other's soul in the real world. But, on here, we have come to know & love her (and learn from her wise prose) in a very deep, personal way. Maybe it helps that she's a writer and so in this medium she can express these things we can all relate as mothers, women, and human beings, I don't know.
I do believe there are lots of compassionate people in the world, their voices are just lost in all the white noise out there.

bella said...

Dear Shawn,
thank-you for this. I am honored.
And to whom do I give thanks for allowing our paths to intersect.
You have become a friend and like a sister to me.

Anonymous said...

Shawn, if you aren't the perfect posts perfect poster, I don't know who is. What goes around comes around, and you're overdue.

Shawn said...

Oh, Karen ... you're too kind. I've only just awarded two so far, but now that I've started I can't stop. By searching for a perfect post, too, I find that I'm reading more closely, and staying on top of what is being written by my good friends.

village mama said...

I agree with Shannon, I believe there are millions of compassionate people out there, we just don't always have the opportunity to interact with them.

Not that Bella doesn't sound awesome ;-)

Bastet said...

I agree too, your blog shows so much compassion...I really enjoy visiting.

And I also agree, Holiday is a wonderful movie!

Not the Mama said...

This is a wonderfully refreshing take on the feeling of love, and how it can be developed through this medium. I deleted my old page to escape several that, w/ several emails and a glimpse of my picture, thought they were in love with me. Yeah, right. You’re not even in lust, in my case. Although, that would be cool:

Gee, Gary, I’m in lust with you.

Really, Sally? Well, I’m in lust with you, too.

Oh, joy! You just made me the horniest… I mean, happiest girl alive.

Say, I know this wonderful little blog where twins are the subject. What do you say we mosey on over and procreate to see if we fit in there, as well?

Sounds, dreamy, Gary, just dreamy.

Of course, the former thing is scary. This is beautiful… meaning the blog, you dirty minded folks, the blog. Not the lust story.