Monday, August 25, 2008

Live blogging ... a heart breaking

Did you hear that? That loud crash ... the earth falling off its axis?

Nevermind it.

It was just my heart shattering in a million little pieces and falling out of the sky as two little girls cried and clung to my legs as I shoved them away and left them. With strangers.

That's all. Just their world changed in a single morning.

And, no they didn't stop crying after I left. Perhaps it is harder on me than them, but it's really hard on them, too.

Back to work.

EDITED: Who needs lunch? Or snacks? When you're depressed, right? Turns out, they didn't need a full belly to take a nap.

Sigh.

7 comments:

Mama said...

Oh, Shawn! I am sorry. I hope it isn't too hard to pick up the pieces of your heart this morning. I know of what you speak. I tell myself that I am teaching them coping skills. Sigh.

I'm thinking of you today!

kisatrtle said...

Thinking of you today.

LauraC said...

Oh I hope it gets easier! Even with my boys in day care for so long, we had lots of crying at drop off when we transitioned to the 2s room.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Shawn, I hope they greet you with big smiles this evening, so you know that all has moved on in their little worlds, if not yours.

Shannon said...

I don't have words, just support. Call if you need to. I'm here.

Claroux said...

Oh boy....I feel your hurt. There is nothing worse that what happened to you today. Thankfully my girls didn't start doing it until recently and it breaks my heart every day. Hopefully it will get better as they make friends and grow attached to people there. In the meantime - I'm so sorry. Hope it all went okay at the pickup.

Dr. Maya Christobel said...

Shawn,

I have two grown daughters and yet your blog entries take me instantly back to the feeling of young motherhood. Part of me longs for what only now seems like the simplicity of tiny children you could keep track of, knew every breath they took and could imagine their safety and have some sence that things could be controled in a pinch. But now with girls in their twenties, a time I longed for when I was a young mother, I find these times of mothering deeply hard to traverse. Young women in our society facing a bankrupt American dream and a planet spinning out of control. Helping them find balance and a spiritual center through it all is daunting. So I am writing to say bravo to your wonderful blog and to you publishable writing. You are talented. Today I am living the turn of the wheel with my dying mother so I have a very different blog if you want to visit and as a writer I share many aspects of what it means to live in transformative time....Mothers are the bravest of the brave...thank you for your heart felt contribution.
Dr. Maya Christobel www.theheartspace.wordpress.com