Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Please, just rip out my heart!

Seriously. Take it out. I don't want to feel anymore.

This morning was harder; the crying, louder; the clinging, tighter; the pain, greater.

I"m having trouble seeing the forest through the trees. Why am I doing this?

I feel so selfish.

So.

Very.

Selfish.

6 comments:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Oh, Shawn! I've got nothing for you but hugs!

Mama said...

Shawn, I am still so sorry you are going through this. But you are NOT being selfish. As MJ and Jay and I like to say, in the case of a drop in cabin pressure, oxygen masks go on the parent first for a reason. You have to take care of your business so you can be a mommy to the girls. Any kind of adjustment is hard, but in the long run, the girls are going to be JUST FINE. You might never be the same again, but you signed up for that when you became a mother. There are lots of "never be the same again" moments.

In any case, hang in there. This sucks. But you are a wonderful mommy and the girls are going into this well armed with your love and support!

LauraC said...

Just more support here to help you see the forest. You are not being selfish. You are giving them a new opportunity to do new things, meet new people, make new friends, and experience new things. Transitions are tough on everyone but at the end of this transition, you are going to see a lot of positives.

Believe me, the first day they come home and say something completely new that someone else taught them, you are going to be so proud of them, proud of yourself, and feel more peace with this decision. It just takes some time.

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

sorry yr struggling doll. I know this must be really hard- but you know it will get easier- be brave and strong. xo hugs from Ohio.

debbiedvorak said...

Oh, my dear sweet daughter, you are NOT selfish! Don't even stop for one minute and think that. It will take a little while for them to get acclimated to all the new things going on in their lives but they will grow to be beautiful, strong young ladies. They have to -they have a beautiful, strong Mommy to help them!

Love ya, Mom.

patriciadolan@comcast.net said...

I am so thinking of you right now...I want you to know that I am here to support you and that I'm on your side. Whatever decision you decide about work is the one that will suit your lifestyle. Remember learning how to ride a bike, swim, skate and tie shoes take time and practice for each of us. Please be gentle with yourself. This is a big transition. And you're right we are never the same once our children arrive. Each age and stage we metamorphis as they do. You're a beautiful, spiritual butterfly.

Trish
patriciadolan@comcast.net