A few times lately -- OK, more than a few -- I've been worried about myself, worried that I've lost my fun-factor as a mom.
I've always been decidedly involved -- the mom who puts off dishes and cleaning to sit and play. But, lately even dishes have seemed more fun. At least they don't throw tantrums or bite each other!
I'm still not ready to throw in the towel and say that 2 is harder than twinfancy, but it has gotten pretty challenging.
Admittedly, I've always stayed away from activities that might cause a fight, like those games when you toss your kid in the air over and over and over and you finally just want to quit because you're tired. Well, I have one more to deal with, too. That intersection of conflict and saying no and being tired doesn't work for me.
So, in the past, we just avoided it. Now, though, physical play is almost demanded at every stretch of our day.
Time is more limited than ever. My thoughts are constantly invaded. Dishes and meals are no longer dishes and meals ... they are battles.
"Something has to get done today!" I yell, forcing myself to sit and play for the fifth time that hour.
Who have I become?
This is not the mom I wanted to be. The tired one. The one half-listening. The one watching the clock until their father walks in the door so I can just shut down my brain for five minutes.
No, this isn't Her.
We go in spurts around here with organized play, free play and winging it. I like to hold art and music sessions followed by free play. I always plan a craft project of some sort. And, we move from room to room, playing with things like the money bank in our room, to jumping on the bed in the guest room to watching You Tube videos in my office.
But, the free play part ... is not existent more than ever. Instead they cry or fuss and fight until I sit back down next to them and coordinate something else or have to put one in time out.
Or, until we get into the car and go somewhere.
Next post: A plan of action. Bringing the F-U-N back into motherhood with a challenge -- for you, too.
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