I've been lucky that my job is very flexible toward the fact that I am a mother first and foremost in this life right now.
That does not mean that I haven't had to make some very tough decisions, mainly regarding how to leave a meeting late and still get to the girls somewhat on time. (You see, I start to stress that they are sitting in the dark center alone, getting scared and worried that I'm not coming for them. Yes, I have issues.)
Truthfully, I do worry about running late. I worry about how to get to the car out of the garage and not get stuck in the rush hour traffic, then hurry to pick them up and rush home to also make dinner as they starve and cling and cry at my legs. In fact, that last hour before dinner is often my most frantic and stressful. Even when I'm not late and mostly prepared.
Some days are worse than others and leave me wondering about who sets the agenda:
- 7:30 a.m. meetings.
- Working sessions at 3:30 p.m. that last two hours, and include dinner.
- Non-child friendly venues like ballrooms instead of ball parks.
- Evening invitations. Period.
- An inauguration that outlawed strollers.
- Bathrooms without diaper changing areas.
- Restaurants without kids menus.
- Diapers and milk buried at the BACK of the stores.
- New Year's Eve celebrations that don't include families with children.
- Happy Hours.
"Um, yes," I wanted to say. "Isn't that what all mothers do or should do or try to do?"
"Yes, I try," I said to her.
She shook her head in disbelief.
Perhaps the bar, even for myself, is to high, I thought as I was stuck in traffic afterward, stressing about how I'm already late to get them and don't have anything really easy planned for dinner.
I experienced a slight epiphany as the setting sun burned into my eyes.
I need to relax.
So, I'm declaring this week as Mama's Week Off From Cooking. The dinners are so easy they can practically make themselves. The agenda is to have fun and be healthy -- without eating out, without spending a fortune and without a bunch of fuss.
And, of course, still be Mama -- because I can't be anything else right now.
Thank you for visiting today.
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