Tuesday, September 25, 2007

8 real mom truths

These are just a few things I've noticed in my short stint as a Mama ...

1. When you want your children to sleep, they will not. When you don't want them to sleep, they will.

2. When they do finally sleep, it's either shorter than you'd hoped, or longer.

3. Television is not a lazy parent's babysitter; it' the best, coolest, most popular toy in the house whether we like it or not. No other gadget can bring the kind of contentment to a child than a TV.

4. When you try to work in a five-minute break for yourself, expect to deal with a half-hour tantrum first, followed by calming play afterward. Then, start it all over again when you try to get that break.

5. Table for one really means hunkering over the sink to eat something you know your children will want the second they see it. Like chocolate. Or cookies.

6. Wine loses its value once children enter a home. Parents are too tired to drink it or too poor to buy it.

7. Daddies make much better stay-at-home caregivers. They love to watch TV and eat all day. They stress less about meals, and spend more time on the floor enjoying horizontal parenting.

8. If your toddler refuses the bite-sized pieces of her food, just offer her the exact same thing from your plate, and they'll eat it.

Got any truths to share? Spill them in the comments section.


Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

All so true in our household!

What can I add? (And what can I add when I'm too tired to be coherent?)

If you distractedly put down a mess-producing item (marker, glue, cup of water) within a child's reach, in the one minute that you are dealing with the distraction, the mess will end up all over the room.

bella said...

The toy that is coveted from a friend's home, once bought and brought into your own home, is never played with.

Oh, The Joys said...

Love the horizontalness!!

Anonymous said...

9. Moms don't know anything.

And that "contentment" with TV--in my house, it's intoxication, it's morphine. I'm wild about it, but then what do I know?

Wendy said...

My son sleeps while a helicopter lands right next to our car, but wakes the moment I try to tiptoe out of the bedroom.


Shannon said...

Let's see, the one that comes to mind is the sidewalk chalk I bought this week was used to "draw" on every outdoor thing (even the dog) with zero interest in drawing on the sidewalk. My little rebel artists...he he.

Candace & Anna said...

Well they are all true for me except the tv thing. I have practically begged Anna to watch so that I could get something done to no avail!

How about: they are totally silent until you get on the phone and then they will start jabbering away and you can't hear a word the person on the phone is saying BUT if you give them the phone the go silent again!

lesleysmeshly said...

9. Toys shmoys...anything that is NOT a toy that they shouldn't be getting into are their favorites!!

10. Chasing and lugging around two babies DOES NOT equal weight loss.

11. All of the things you said you wouldn't do as a parent you end up doing just to keep your sanity.

12. Wine shmine..gimme the hard stuff!