Friday, September 21, 2007

If the shoe fits

No, I'm not going to go on a diatribe about how my little girls are obsessed with shoes -- mine, theirs, their fathers. No, I'm not going to talk about how they are always trying to put my shoes on my feet, on their feet, or are putting on or taking off their own shoes.

What I am going to talk about is today's moms who can wear sexy shoes and nice outfits. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong to feel uncomfortable, and too dressy when dressed up and caring for my daughters. I mean really caring for them.

Just today, for instance, I had to run like the wind to keep up with them at the playground. I can't imagine trying to climb the big slide not once, but six times in anything but tennis shoes. Do they even call them that now? Or, are they sneakers?

On the way to the playground visions of our last visit -- earlier this week -- came to life. A beautiful mom with her very quiet, very serene, very patient ONE child, pre-school age, sauntered over the foot bridge and slowly made their way to their first piece of equipment, then another, then another. One at a time, they mastered each one. She was a lovely woman, dressed in perfect fall attire. She wasn't overly dressed, but she was definitely dressed well. While going back and forth between one swing and the other, I looked down at my sneakers, khaki pants and t-shirt and thought how disgusting of me to go out looking like this.

But, I couldn't prevent my two girls from jumping off that bridge if I had on my sexy shoes. I even refuse to wear my flip-flops to the playground because I know at any minute I might have to burst into a run. I guess I'm always prepared.

I guess my outer self is just going to have to wait. Just like the housework. The organizing. The packing. The novel.

Everything -- including myself -- is on hold. No fancy shoes for me. I'm busy. Busy climbing ladders to big slides, and picking mulch out of heads of hair.


Leah said...

I love this. I aspire to being a hot mama but seem to go days without getting a chance to shower... Not very hot. Any cute clothes I have are covered in snot by 10 am. I have some sexy shoes that are gathering dust in my closet. I seem to always reach for the Mary Jane Crocs, one pair in exciting black and the other in scintillating brown.

InTheFastLane said...

sexy shoes!? I don't think I've left the house in a pair of those for anything. Even when I dress up I can't have that sexy a shoe. I wouldn't even know how to walk.

MG said...

Sexy? What's that?

Seriously, as a mom of twins, you do a LOT of putting yourself on hold. I've found that out quickly, and even though my boys are 6, I'm still on hold for the most part. My wardrobe consists of jeans, sneakers, and whatever clean shirt I can find. I wish I could be pulled together, but sometimes I realize that this is the best I can do (sadly).


It should get better... at least I'm in grad school now! LOL

And as for high heels- forget about it! Those are accidents waiting to happen!


Shannon said...

I often look at other "put together" moms with envy and make a mental note to at least glance at what I'm wearing before I leave the house...
and then I think: who am I kidding? I couldn't even dress stylishly before all the baby snot & sprinting after twins. Now I at least have an excuse! :-)

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I have this friend who was wearing these beautiful dangly earrings when she had a toddler. I had to get my ears repierced because my holes closed because I couldn't wear earrings for so long -- the kids just yanked on them. What is up with that?

Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled: that's one of those "other" mothers. Inside, she's even more self-conscious than the rest of us.

writermeeg said...

I agree with Karen! This whole MILF culture is yet another ploy to get women second-guessing ourselves and comparing, competing to be the queen of the prom. Blech!

We know what's important. Wearing perfect outfits to the playground is not it.

That said, however, I think it is true that our self-esteem comes in part from feeling good about our appearance. Perhaps it's picking one outer thing (or a couple) to keep up while we are consumed in mommying. For me, I make sure my eyebrows are plucked and I pay for nice haircuts. The rest, fuggetaboutit. Yoga pants and t-shirts with kid goo all over them.

Maybe for another mom it is exercise. Maybe for those clothes moms, that is their thing.

If we try to do it "all," I think we're spreading our energy too thin, and perhaps in the wrong places. But picking our battles (or our beauties) seems to make more sense for balance. Not to totally let ourselves go, but to let go of some new advertising-inspired image of what a sexy mom is supposed to look like! And claim what feels best to us, then ignore the rest.

What if we just focus on what makes our hearts sing, not what some other mom has that we may not? (Because for sure she also has something we don't want! We all have both.)

Sorry for going off. Great blog, nice to meet you! Keep up the good words! ;)