Thursday, October 11, 2007

Like watching water boil

Dear Jadyn and Liana,

You turn 21 months today and it's been a rough week. Colds set in and that always means Yakkity Yak for Liana. That upset you greatly and you felt the need to stay up all night and cry about it. So we had to, too.

There have been some rough patches over all, too. Tantrums before breakfast, Jadyn bopping Liana over the head with a toy the SECOND I leave the room. My inability to do anything, but sit and play on the floor with you.

You will turn 2 soon and I love your increasing awareness of the world around you, your ability to put it all into words: preeasz, thister, jay jay and na na.

I like showing you the world, too. You've been happy to see those huge blow-up yard decorations for the holidays. I was at a loss for words when you kept pointing to the deathly skeleton whose eyes were burning red.

"That's scary," I told you.

Between 10 months and 18 months I could barely keep up with your growth. Between learning to crawl then walk, learning to jabber then talk, learning to sign then learning to sing.

But, the last month or two has been different. You're clearly still learning, but everything has slowed down. Jadyn, when it's time to go out the door in a hurry, you. move. very. slowly. on. purpose.

At times I feel like my only mission in life is to sit around and wait for both of you to catch up, like watching water boil. I thought we could play with play-doh without eating it by now. I thought we could sort blocks by color by now without the two of you just wanting to scatter them all fiercely. I thought you would be thrilled by my ability to build high towers with tunnels underneath for your cars.

You are not -- at least not for more than three seconds.

And yet .... I'm overwhelmingly happy to just sit and wait and watch with you. I'm happy to push your too-long hair out of your eyes and mouths. I'm happy to brush the crumbs off your pants, the dirt out of your skirt. I'm happy to lay with you when you desperately need to be cuddled.

Perhaps it's because the best part of 21 months is the ringing of this in my ears:

"Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama."

This post was written for MamaBlogga's October Writing Project. Please join in.


Anonymous said...

Lovely, wistful, achingly true. They will catch up, just when you least expect it. This is the year that was.

lesleysmeshly said...

Beautiful post. Isn't it amazing how much they grow, change, and learn in one year. Enjoy getting on the ground and playing as much as you day they'll be like...mama GO AWAY..we are playing with our friends and you're embarrassing us! Haha.

Shannon said...

Aaaa, yes. The dirt, the crumbs, the block throwing, the bopping, the desperate clingy cuddle sessions and the mama mama is awesome. :-)

bella said...

This brought me to a renewed awareness of what IS, rather than what I'm busy telling myself it should be.

Mama Zen said...

And, that is a beautiful sound!
(I think the internet ate my previous comment! Weird!)

Ursula said...

I like that analogy of watching water wait and wait for something, then when it happens you almost wish that you could just go back to the beginning.

I love those cuddles-though now, mine are "nuzzle nosies" and wake up mama kisses.


Shawn said...

Thanks for commenting Ursula -- I wanted to add in "like watching paint dry," too since I'm always so eager for that to happen, for the Great Transformation to occur. Parenting can make or break a person, I think. It is definitely making me ... it's also making me work very, very hard. : )

elaine@bloginmyeye said...

Great post. Way to be in the moment! It gets easier. And more fun.

Jordan said...

Hayden's about 3 weeks younger than your girls, so I totally understand how you feel!

I agree that the big benefits of this writing project is not only realizing the good parts of the "now," but learning that fun things are coming, too.