Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Survival Gear Part II

Girls,

I know it's hard for you to share. I know it is. You see a toy/object/kitchen gadget/thingyoushouldn'ttouch and you just have to have it. The problem begins with the fact that there are two of you in the same mindset, with the same young toddler interests. Often, you only receive one toy as a gift and so sharing that toy is necessary.

Smack downs in the playroom are not necessary. Pulling each other over or down is not necessary. Some day you will understand the concept of taking turns. Some day. Sadly, until then, you will have to figure out how to manage when the other has what you want.

I am learning to step back during these brutal altercations, allowing you to figure it out on your own unless bodily injury is imminent. Other times, as you have learned, I will just take the toy/object/kitchen gadget/thingyoushouldn'ttouch away -- unless it's a door, like on the cabinets, entertainment stand, to the kitchen, etc. I don't know what to tell you when one of you wants to open the door and the other wants to shut it. I just hope fingers are out of the way on all accounts. Find another door, maybe. I am growing tired of telling you that doors are not toys. Neither are remote controls, but in the heat of the moment if they keep you happy, I allow you to play with those.

Still, I have to wonder what other twin parents, whose twins are older, have done in these circumstances so I have asked a wise SAHD this question and I eagerly anticipate his answer. Perhaps he can provide an answer to all of this twin drama we encounter so often throughout a day. Unless any of my other twin parent readers can chime in here .... ????

In the meantime, we have learned, together, that the best toys are not necessarily those bought from the store. Many can be found right here, in our home. Here's a small list that I have started along with my mom friends around the country whose twins are also around 15 months:

remote controls
all kitchen utensils/tools, including a turkey baster, measuring cups and spoons
a plastic cereal bowl and spoon for pretend eating or not-so-pretend throwing
pieces of fuzz or string found on the floor
dirty silverware from the dishwasher (um, nasty.)
junk mail, important mail, magazines (basically anything that ultimately caused the death of a tree)
full, unopened water bottles
empty boxes of any size (so cliche, I know)
DVD cases
dog food and water bowls
highlighters
hangers -- both plastic and metal (we will try these out soon!)
hair brushes

And, last but not least, clothing -- clean or dirty -- that can easily be worn, draped or dumped on the floor.

So, as you see, there is plenty to do around the house so the fact that we are stuck inside thanks to the weather is just fine! Really. Just fine. Not a problem at all ...

4 comments:

Micah and Becky Derby said...

Fighting over toys is so hard....my boys are the same age as yours, so we probably have no wise words, but if I am sitting there with them when they try to just take the toy away and it obviously upsets the one having it taken away, I just firmly give it back to the original owner and encourage the taker to share, knowing full well that their sweet little minds probably can't comprehend it yet, but I figure it is never too soon to start trying! :)

Becky

Kathy said...

Not an hour passes without a fight. It makes me cherish those moments when they play together nicely. I have learned to stand back when they fight over a toy and let them figure it out. It is very hard, especially when you see the instigator steal the toy. In the long run they will be better off learning how to deal with such situations. I do intervene when the "violence" begins - biting, pushing, hair pulling. Distraction seems to help. Who knew this woulod start so early, but like you said...there are two in the same mindset.

MB said...

Oh, I feel like you're writing about happenings in my house. Thankfully we don't have very many doors in the playroom for them to fight over. We actually screwed the fishtank doors closed -- nothing we need in there anyway.
As I write this, JT is screaming because Merry Leigh took tried to knock him out of the "rocky chair." Usually we take toys away when they fight over them. Getting two of one thing doesn't help, either. We have two Elmo chairs, but they always want the one the other one has.
ML tends to bite, so letting them work it out on their own usually results in poor JT owning a new set of teethmarks on his left arm.

Meribeth

Keri said...

Built-in playmates, built-in adversaries - the joy of twins! My boys change by the second - best friends one minute, trying to draw blood the next. I have one who tends to be much more aggressive - he usually gets whatever he wants when it comes to stealing toys from his brother. The more timid of the two tends to just cry for a minute and then gives up and finds another toy. However, I did walk in to find my "timid" one hitting my more aggressive one this morning. This time the shoe was on the other foot and he definitely had a smile on his face while he was doing it. I try to teach the whole "sharing" issue but sometimes (shhh, don't tell), I just let them fight it out (without blood-shed, of course).