Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sweeping up blog crumbs

Housekeeping on the blog is in progress. I've put the two little ones to work.

If you can bear to read this entire post, which I warn is long and full of venom and spit, you just might be able to enter a contest for a giveaway I'm offering this week.

First up is the change in how things run around here. I now have an "anonymous" commenter who is leaving comments that I feel are personal attacks on me. In the grand scheme of life, these are minor comments that shouldn't bother me. But, I'm not feeling like being attacked these days, not here, not on this blog anyway. Attack all you want on my other blogs.

So, no more anonymous posts are allowed. Sorry for any inconveniences, which pretty much includes my grandmother. I'm just not into people leaving messages without a name. Let's blame it on my journalistic integrity.

Now, here's 8 things about me you might not know.

1. This is my blog and I'll cry if I want to. I'm a very hopeful, positive person. But, this is a journal, of sorts. What I write about here, what I share here, are my daily internal battles as a mother, as a writer and as a woman. I also attempt to reach some level of humor about some of our daily fiascoes. If my daughters ever do read this blog, it will be a miracle since I'm not copying these posts or saving them. This isn't to say that I'm writing anything I wouldn't share with them. It's purely up to serendipity is all I'm saying.

2. I am not, and never will be the kind of person who fakes happiness just to make life seem better. I am in love with life's challenges, chaos and disarray, which all make for great writing material. Life isn't all puppy dog tails and sunshine and neither am I, neither are the hundreds of news stories I've written or read. In fact, I cannot stand people who put on false smiles just for the sake of others. If you're miserable, be miserable. Don't lie. Be honest.

3. I love being at home with my daughters. Nothing else has ever given me more purpose or pleasure. But, it is also the hardest job I've ever had, which is saying a lot since I spent many days in my working life interviewing people who's loved ones were just killed either by a gunshot, a knife, a car, or God forbid, a train.

4. I often ask for your advice, but I rarely ever take it. In fact, I hate getting advice. I do, however, like hearing about other people's experiences.

5. Never, ever, ever will I think that being thrown up on not once, but twice, in one week is what motherhood is all about. Nor, is catching colds. And, never, ever, ever will I feel blessed for such moments. I am, however, blessed to be able to wake up each day as a Mama, to feel wet kisses on my cheeks and to hold two babies in my arms as much as possible during the day

6. I am slowly becoming addicted to having a clean house, but I still hate cleaning. I am not a fun person when all I have to worry about is having a clean house. I pity those poor families with cleaning Nazi's in control. Then again, I'm cleaning with the hopes of some perfect person walking in with their fat wallet to buy this house. That's a different level of cleaning, I suppose. Maybe that's the kind I hate ... but maybe that's the kind of cleaning I'm now preferring. Oh No!

7. I enjoy cursing on special occasions. Language, in general, and the use of words thrills me. A good curse does my soul good. It's better than smoking, doing drugs, drinking or living with a drunk. It's better than judging others, saying sexist or racist jokes. It's better than stealing, lying and cheating. It's definitely not something my girls will be harmed by as there are many other intricate things about me that will send them to therapy. Still, I didn't grow up in a house with curse words, yet I've cursed as long as I remember. Middle school teaches our nation's children everything they should not do and then the kids march right out those school doors and do it all without their parents ever knowing. With that, I vow to never share another curse word on this blog for fear of God Almighty coming out of the wood work to profess my sins.

8. Fear consumes me. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of being unsuccessful. Fear of being a bad mother. Fear of being a bad wife. Fear of walking by myself. Fear of being watched. Fear of being left. Fear of spending too much money. Fear of dying. Fear of others dying. Fear of running out of money. Fear of my children getting hurt. Fear of my husband failing. Fear of being friendless. Fear of people getting to know the real me. Fear of myself. Fear of never achieving. Mostly, fear of uncertainty.

Gosh, was that 8 already? I was just getting warmed up.

If you are interested in reading some of the posts I've written that profess my endless love for both my husband and my daughters, just go here, here, here and here.

Thanks, Isabel for this 8 Things tag. Mama Zen is up next with a meme about how I'd spend a million dollars.

I think just about everyone on my blog roll has done the 8 Things meme, but if you haven't please let me know and then I'll tag you.

Now, finally, in honor of Writer Mama, who is going to hold a month of Back to School giveaways, I'm going to giveaway a copy of her book, "Writer Mama." All you have to do is leave a comment on this post between now and Friday at midnight. The randomly chosen winner will be announced Saturday. You must leave your e-mail somewhere in your comment in order to win this prize.


InTheFastLane said...

I have a hard time understanding why someone would want to get on here and be rude. Some grouchy, angry person I guess.

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

I read every word! You are definitely good this whole writing gig. On my silly little blog I more ramble. Kinda like how I'm doing here on your comments :)

I have recently been inspired to keep the house cleaner. For the first time ever my husband is showing me up. I am way too competitive to let that happen.

Off to do the dishes!

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Well, that just sucks! I know you felt stung by those words. But I hope you know that your faithful readers see true love for your family and for life shining from you in all your moments: joyous, heartbreaking, silly, frustrating and poop covered! I have always been drawn to your beautiful, loving, honest writing about your life with your girls.

I know the people who leave nasty comments about you are deeply hurting in their own way, and I know I should embrace them. But I'm not there yet in my spiritual development. I haven't come to know and love them, I've come to know and love you. So, I am hurting for you, and sending my hugs to you.

And I am so totally going to win another book from you!

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

My e-mail is I'm going to try the link a different way to see if it works. Thanks.

Shannon said...

All I have to say is I love you and anyone who reads this can see how much you love your family! Stop the judgement people, it's unheathy.
blog on, Mommy! :-)

Candace & Anna said...

I am sorry you were getting rude comments! You are a wonderful mother and inspiring to us all. I would just bet that the person making those comments are just jealous!

bella said...

I love your honesty. I think it was one of the best gifts to give yourself, your children, the world.
Faked happiness is overrated. Authenticity requires we hold the whole of things.
I love to come and listen.

bella said...

oh and my email address:

Rob Soukup said...

Hi, I am Heather. this is the first time to your site, or maybe the second. i linked to you today thru lookydaddy's blogroll but I think the last time i read your posts was thru a link provided on there, you will find me as p31heather. Thanks for some great writing. It's nice to read some intelligent writing and ranting from someone who shares my somewhat similar life.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!