Saturday, May 26, 2007

In a flash, it was gone

I'm not terribly big on sentimentality. I don't dwell on the fact that Unromance seems to attach its big ugly head to each and every wall in a house raising up twin girls.

Yet, yesterday, when I received my very first jeweled gift from The Da!, I was singing inside.

The day started off on a proper high note that a fourth wedding anniversary can offer -- after all we are still newlyweds, according to our widowed neighbors. Snuggling, kisses, easy conversation, extra long smiles -- and, gifts -- set the tone for the day.

In two very special boxes, I found sparkling silver earrings and a beautiful necklace. I wasn't even sure if the holes in my ears would accept such nonsense since it had been that long since they saw light of day. And, my neck, it felt glorious draped in something other than, nothing.

With the new bling to decorate myself with, I felt inspired. I had a special meeting at a local college regarding a class proposal. I had to get dressed in something other than cargo pants and a T-shirt. Still donning a nice new haircut, I put makeup on, the jewelry and even painted my toe nails for the first time in months.

The new old me was starting to shine through. Memories of the life I led before all of my day's work took place on these three floors of this 1800s home or just around its perimeter began to seep out of the pores of my skin. Maybe I found myself. Perhaps I was never lost.

J & L were mesmerized by the jewelry hanging from my ears, my neck, the silver buckle on my high heels, the perfect pink of my toes. I was instantly a bedazzled toy of which they couldn't get enough.

I nailed the interview. Enjoyed feeling grown up again. And felt as confident about myself on the outside as I usually do on the inside.

Later that morning, I changed my clothes and we took a picnic to a local park over looking the river that exactly four years prior heard our whispers of vows before a small crowd of 70. Just like that perfect day, there was an overcast, but unlike that day, rain wasn't an option, not even a blip on the forecast. You girls, loved the big rocks and tree stumps that knocked you to the ground. You toddled fast back and forth along the paths, giggling at each step.

We later placed you in the very spot where our altar stood, and took pictures. You wouldn't keep still, and quickly lept down the hill, toward the horses, out of the picture.

And, I was elated.

That day, four years ago, was so incredibly perfect. I remember smiling for two weeks as our love swept us across the oceans to Grand Cayman for a blissful 10 days.

And, yesterday, was one for the books as well.

At least until last evening, when I snuck in the bathroom for a quick peek at the mess I'd become over the course of the day to see just how much I would scare neighbors during an evening walk.

That's when I realized one of those precious new earrings -- the very things that started this day off right -- was missing. Gone.

Rarely have I felt more empty inside than that very moment.

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